funny one-shots
by paranoiac666
Summary: WARNING: this will kill you!... from laughter!
1. Chapter 1

(_Icy,_** Hothead,** Random. a new story full of Humiliation and games you will enjoy it!)

Chapter 1: Humiliation

It was a normal day at the base. It was really boring. I found this one human game. It was called Just Dance 4.

I went to my room, and set it up. It looked good, there was a lot of songs.

There was a knock at my door, I quickly hid the game and answered the door. It was Blitzwing.

" _what was that noise_?" He said entering. I did a sweat drop.

" oh that was probably lugnut worshiping Megatron again." I said while pushing him out of my room.

He changed into his 'random' mode, and he discovered my game.

" Oooo! What's this?" He said.

" I found this human game, and it looked fun." I said.

" can I please play?! I am sooooo board! I have nothing to do!" He said.

" alright! Fine! You can play!" I said.

" do you know how much i love you?" He said and kissed my cheek.

" Yes I know. Alright, you go first." I said.

" how do you control it?" He said.

" you move your hand, and pick a song." I said.

After a few minutes, he finally picked a song. It was livn la vida loca.

" whoo-wee! This is fun!" He said. Then Blackarichnia came in.

" what are you guys doing?" He said.

" well, we're going to act and dance. And Blitzwing! You're beating my high score!" I said. When the song was over, he bowed to me.

I blushed, and Blackarichnia nudged me. I pushed her off.

He winked at me, and sat down. I put in the acting game and did a scene... With Blitzwing.

We played a scene from The karete kid. I played the kid, and he played the teacher.

"** I need you to wash my jet. Well can you, femme? Can you? It's simple! Just wash on, wash off.** Either that, or kiss me and that'll make you a pro." He said leaning in.

I just smacked him out of the way before the scene ended.

Then Megatron and Lugnut came in just in time to see the scene.

They started laughing, and they said that they wanted to play. I said fine and Megatron got the next act. It was Star Trek. And he was the good captain.

" what the heck are you wearing?!" He said to the guy with the visor. Me and Blackarichnia just laughed at his statement. Then when the villain came in, he was speechless.

" S**t. I didn't even do any thing." He said laughing.

Blitzwing went next and did forest gump.

" I want shrimp. Give me some mutha f***n shrimp. I want shrimp." He said. I held in a laugh.

" give me some mutha f***n shrimp!" And the rest was some loud choking sounds and mocking the old lady.

At the end, we all just started laughing. He bowed to us and sat down.

Next was lugnut. He did the same act Megatron did, but he was the evil captan.

" you will all bow down to me, or I will blow up your ship! All hail Megatron! I'm done, give me a Oscar!" He said. I was surprised that he knew that.

We all laughed, then me and Blitzwing did a dance. Blackarichnia picked the song, it was I've had the time of my life.

" Oooo! I like this one!" He said. I saw they all held back their laughter.

" I hate you all." I said. At the end, I had to run up to him and he picked me up by the waist for the finish.

They all laughed hard. I have never seen them all laughing that hard.

" I feel so uncomfortable right now. You guys try it!" I said.

" **that was so embarrassing!** But I liked it!" He said.

" you know what? Battle time! You and Megatron have to do a dance with me and Blitzwing. Who ever wins, gets bragging rights, and a weeks worth of energon. Deal?" I said.

" deal!" Blackarichnia said.

We did the song beware of the boys. And me and Blitzwing won that like a boss!

" what?! That's unfair! You knew the moves!" She exclaimed. I sticked out my glossia and sat down.

Blitzwing wanted to do a scene where he was the audience. It was funny!

" yes! I am the king! And the king needs his crown!" He said putting on my good headband. The fake audience stopped clapping.

" what? Start clapping! Start clapping! Or the squirrel dies!" He said holding a cannon to my small toy squirrel. They started clapping.

" yes! Clap in my presence!" He said. When the scene was over, I got back my headband and toy squirrel.

" for that little scene, you will do the dance, gagnam style!" I said.

He did the dance, but I had to do it with him. It was so wrong, that when it was over, I yelled no and ran out.

I was going to edit this because I hidden cameras so I can uploaded it on YouTube. It's gonna be good.

1 hour later autobots base

" hey sari! Is a new video up yet?" Bumblebee said.

" yea! It's called 'when cons are board... This is what happens'. Go get the team! They have to watch it!" She said.

The team was in the room.

" guys! You have to watch this! It shows the real cons, and its entertaining!" She said, then played the video.

They watched through minutes of acting, dancing, and slapping. They were all laughing their afts off.

" that was funny when lugnut was all like ,'I'm done, give me an Oscar!'" Bulkhead said.

" and when Blitzwing and Starblade did the duet and said ,' I hate you all.'" Bumblebee said.

" thank you for watching this video! You don't know how hard it was to put cameras in the base, subscribe to become a con today! And I will give the RPG games a try, so next is gonna be Ib! Bye for now!" The video said ending.

" how does she get those cameras in the room?" Optimus said.

" how am I suppose to know?" Sari said.

**Well that's it for now! I will work on other stories, so don't worry! I'm not dead!**

**-Paranoiac666**


	2. Chapter 2

(_Icy_, **Hothead**, Random. they will be playing the hidden. SO MUCH BETRAYEL! Enjoy!)

Chapter 2: The hidden

" alright! We need to work as a team on this one!" I said. I was suddenly killed on the spot. I stiffened a laugh, but I couldn't hold it in.

" what the hell did I just say?! Who the f**k was that? Ooooooo! Prepare to die mother f**kers!" I said.

" you're the ghost now?! Don't touch me!" Blackarichnia said. I was right behind her.

" hey, knock, knock?" I said smiling.

" who's there?" She said.

" DEATH!" I said killing her. She screamed.

" hey Blitzwing... You're next." I said.

"_ I don't think so._ **I will be getting you**!" He said.

I saw him around the corner. He then started shooting at me.

" ahhhh! Nooo! You got me! Son of a b***h!" I said.

" Ooooo! I am the ghost now! **Beware Megatron**! I'm going to haunt you..." He said.

" I will show no mercy on you!" He said.

" _hey... Look behind you..."_ Blitzwing said. He started shooting like crazy. Blitzwing just laughed like a maniac.

" I was lying! **Do you think I would be on the ground?!**" Blitzwing said then threw a grenade.

" what the- Ahhhhhh!" He said dying.

" _there's only two left_. Prepare to- **what the hell was that**?!" He said. I killed him in the process, and clapped while laughing.

" yes! That was beautiful! Aww man, that's gonna stay in my memory bank!" I said, wiping a tear. He glared at me, but I kissed him on the cheek.

" all is forgiven." He said, and patted my head. I quickly got on the ceiling and she was right below me.

" hello there princess." I said, killing her. She screamed. I laughed so much.

" Aww man! I like these human games! wait, who's that?" the username was coolbee73. I snook up behind him and murdered his face.

" Yes! Victory! who was that?" I said.

At the autobot base

" What?! she got me?" Bumblebee said.

" Well she is a gamer and has a lot of experience. how did you hack it to get in her next video?" Sari said.

" I have my ways..." he said.

**Alright, review to what game I should do next! it will be awesome! and pm me if you know the videos I got it from!**

**-Paranoiac666**


	3. Chapter 3

(_Icy,_ **Hothead, **Random. Enjoy!)

Chapter 3: the hidden part 2

" Where the hell did he go?' I said, reloading my ammo.

"_I can be anywhere_." Blitzwing said.

" Well so could I." I said. Then there was a floating barrel. Then it was thrown into a corner.

" God dammit, why do you do that?" I said.

" I heard you love the barrels~." he said, making ghost sounds.

" No, no. don't do that. don't play tricks on me. No, no, nope, nope! No. Barrels aren't… real. They're not real. Stop it! No! stop." I said.

" you better start believing in barrels." he said. I shot him.

" Yes! that's what happens you mother f**kers." I said to the barrel.

Next round

" Okay, I got an idea. how about under the stairs." Blackarichnia said. I saw red.

" Ooooo! You said we were gonna make it out alive. you're not even sad about me dying, aren't you, are you?" I said.

" Well it kinda makes me happy-"

" What?!"

" _I mean no_!" he said.

" You son of a b***h." I whispered.

" Emotions are a wierd thing, man." he said.

" I'm gonna go first. That the?" I said as a box flew towards me.

" Ahhhh! it's a box!" Megatron said.

" Kill it!" I said, shooting the box.

" Don't worry. I killed the box we're safe. No, were not safe! The box is still alive. God dammit." I said, dying.

Next round

" Why aren't you moving?" I said to Blitzwing.

" I'm eating." he said.

" Aww, jeeze. So unprofessional." I said. I heard him say i'm sorry.

" It's okay. We'll hide in this pipe." I said.

" Oh, he's right here!" he said, exploding. I laughed.

" What the f**k just happen? Well I didn't hide in the pipe." I said.

**Alright! This is a update, i'll show you who's who.**

**Starblade- Pewds**

**Blitzwing- Seananners**

**Blackarichnia- Magnaminx**

**Megatron- cinnamontoastken**

**Its from the live stream, decepticon style! Review, and if you want to be in the story, Pm me! There will be a part 3. See you guys later!**

**-Paranoiac666**


	4. Chapter 4

(_Icy,_** Hothead,** Random. Enjoy!)

Chapter 4: payday 2

" Hey! Aww look at us, we are fancy!" I said.

" Oh, she's the doctor!" Megatron said.

" Yea, that's right. I'm the doctor." I said. We walked into a store.

" Two security cameras, i'm gonna take those out first, okay?" Megatron said.

" Sure me two, i'm gonna take this one out. Oh, oh, oh. Just looking for chips. Just looking for chips." I said.

" **What did you do?!"** Blitzwing said.

" I didn't do anything, why is your mask on?! Why is your mask on? Alright lets do this!" I said putting the mask on. I went to the back and told the owner to get on the ground.

" Hurry up, I can't get the machine to crack it open!" Megatron said.

" Hold on, i'm taking the money!" I said.

" _I already got the cash register. This is our worst heist._" he said.

" Get on the ground! Get on the ground! I tied someone up." I said as I tied up the owners hands.

" Does anyone want a foot long? We got hot dogs." he said.

" Na dude, this is a heist man. Stay cool, everyone stay cool." I said as I went out.

" _Uh guys, I know its not a good time to since you know we might be going in jail,_ but in my inventory it says I have twenty pounds of drugs on me!" he said.

" Yea, that's a problem. Who's shooting, why are you shooting?" I said.

" We signaled cops!" he said.

" Ey, ey, ey! No casualty! Alright? Stay inside, drink some energon with me! Be cool!" I said.

" _Caffeine's good! Caffeine's good._" he said.

" I'm gonna intimate the hostages." I said. I misclicked and shot her.

" Oops! I killed a hostage!" I said.

" What?!" Megatron said.

" I misclicked by accident and shot her!" I said.

" Are you serious?! I tied he up and everything!" he said.

" I'm sorry!" I said.

" we're cool." I said.

" No she's not." he said.

" what do you mean I can't stand here? Wha what did you do? Oh, dude the music. Do you hear this song?" I said, making my character dance.

" How are you guys not dancing right now?" I said.

" I am now!" Blitzwing said.

" S.W.A.T! S.W.A.T in the back! S**t!" Megatron said.

" Hell yea!" I said still dancing.

" Starblade! Come out here and help us!" Megatron said.

" I got a need for speed, and its in my body!" I said.

" Alright time to kick it up a notch!" I said shooting swat guys.

" Ok, what if we give them the hostages?" he said.

" We killed the hostages. The hostages disappeared. The hostages are ghosts! Aww this is the matrix!" I said.

" Aww man. I don't want to shoot anything, I just want to dance! Everyone outside!" I said.

" Remember I said this was a good idea and everyone was excided?" Megatron said.

" Dead police dance party!" I said.

" we got the money, we got the cash, get over here!" I said.

"Yaaa!" Megatron said, showing that he was downed.

" No!" I said.

" What do we do?" Blitzwing said.

" I-I don't know, I wasn't trained for this. I'm just a-i'm just a criminal!" I said. He went to help him.

" cover me! cover me!" he said.

" i'm covering you!" I said

" I'm hitting! I'm hitting! Ahh, i'm fainting, i'm fainting." he said.

" So… see you guys later!" I said leaving.

" No stop! help us, help us!" he said.

" Alright, alright! Dude, its really crazy out here!" I said. I was healing him, but kept getting shot.

" I'm helping you! Oh they're gonna kill me dude. Ok see you later, see you later! Nope, nope! It hurts!" I said.

" you're suppose to be helping us!" I said.

" Good luck in prison!" I said looking back at them.

**Alright, done! Guys, my uncle just died today and i'm really sad, its not even funny. When you finish reading this, tell your family members, dead or alive, that you love them. **

**But Seananners always cheers me up in his videos, so there will be more tomorrow. **

**I'd also like to give a shout out to ninjaofmusic, Codvambera, Raphaelplusmikey, transformersfangirl, and all of you who reads my stories and support me. See you guys later!**

**-Paranoiac666**


	5. Chapter 5

( _Icy_, **Hothead**, Random. It's time to go back in history! Not really… enjoy! I am not ripping off anything, I thought of it. Its gonna be a little different this time.)

Chapter 5: Facebook

Decepticongirl666 is online

Triplethreat123 is online

Decepticongirl666: Sup!

Triplethreat123: _Hello._

Decepticongirl666: Blitzwing?! U have Facebook?

Triplethreat123: _Starblade? You too?_ I can now know all your secrets! :D

Decepticongirl666: 0_0 no… I also have Youtube. don't tell Megatron…

Destroyer98 is online

Destroyer98: tell me what?

Decepticongirl666: nothing of the sort.

Triplethreat123: Hello!

Decepticongirl666: Megatron?! You too?!

Destroyer98: Who else is on this?

Screamerawesome21 is online

Screamerawesome21: Sis, Blitzwing, Megatron?! Let me guess… Blackarichnia too?

Spiderlady75 is online

Decepticongirl666: aww come on! Oh and hey 'nia!

Spiderlady75: hello all you crazy people. And goodbye.

Spiderlady75 is offline

Destroyer98: yea, bye to you too.

Screamerawesome21: me too.

Destroyer98 is offline

Screamerawesome21 is offline

Decepticongirl666: soo… do you want to star as a guest in a video?

Triplethreat123:_ sure, why not._ it'll be fun!

Decepticongirl666: good, well goodnight!

Triplethreat123 is offline

Decepticongirl666 is offline

**Well this is different… more video games and suggest what to play next! See you guys later!**

**-Paranoiac666**


	6. Chapter 6

(_Icy_, **Hothead**, Random. This is the best idea I never had! Guest starring… autobot slipstream! Enjoy!)

Chapter 6: Mario cart part 1

" Okay Blitzwing, we just have to beat coolbee73, jetwave, fire21, and storm12. You clear?" I said to him.

" _Very._" he said. We went to my computers and started the race.

With the autobots…

" we have to beat triplethreat123, ant the master herself decepticongirl666. We might lose, she is a professional. But we will try!" bumblebee said. The jettwins nodded, and Emily stood next to jetfire. There was a count down.

" Places people!" he said.

The race of awesomeness… has begun!

'cons base

" first, like always!" I said. Then I saw storm12 pass me.

" No! Blitzwing! I need help!" I said.

" _On it._ this is fun! Whee!~" he said. I skidded passed him and Blitzwing was in second, the finish line a few yards away.

" Almost… there- NO!" I said, as jetwave passed us and in first. I hit my head against a wall.

With the autobots…

" Oh my primus! You beat her!" bumblebee said. Jetfire then picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

" Nice brother!" Jetstorm said.

She just blushed, and smiled as she beat a pro gamer.

**Sorry its short! 'bot streamer is jetwave BTW. and you can guest star in it too! Bye for now!**

**-Paranoiac666**


	7. Chapter 7

( _Icy_, **Hothead**, Random. Who's who? *evil laughter*)

Chapter 7: Trouble in terrorist town

" We gotta make a rule here." I said.

" Yea, we can't say who killed, we can't say you shoot, or any of that." Shockwave said.

" Can we squeal?" Blitzwing said.

" Yea, you can squeal." Shockwave said.

" Also you can't- what the f**k?!" I said, as Blitzwing shot me. He just laughed.

" _I didn't realized it started, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, who was it_?" Blitzwing said.

" Was she a traitor?" Blackarichnia said.

" I was a spectator!" I said.

" She didn't realize, and-"

" I literally- yea." I said.

" _Wait, Starblade was innocent, i'm innocent, so, so, so-"_

" Blitzwing is the traitor!" Blackarichnia said.

" **What, what, what?!**" Blitzwing said.

" Yea, yea he is. Yea, he is." Shockwave said.

" Why are ya killing everybody?!" she said.

" _I should not have really done that_!" Blitzwing said.

" It's totally Blitz, absolutely. It's the only logic!" I said.

" **Shut up! Shut up! It's f**king Blackarichnia! It's f**king Blackarichnia.**" he said.

" Nope!" I said.

" It sure is!" Shockwave said.

" You just killed two people." I said.

" **Shut your mouth!**" he said.

" You're a murderer! You're worse that a traitor!" Shockwave said.

" I'm a murderer-er-er." he said.

" Wait, wait, wait. We just said that we wouldn't speak about like who the killer is after we died. And then we're doing it." I said.

" It's obvious though at this point." Shockwave said.

" **It's not**- _You guys will feel like slag after this round_." Blitzwing said.

" Wait, did that shot even count?" I said.

" _You bet your aft it does_." he said.

" I didn't even had a chance!" I said.

" _Well try harder next time, star_." he said.

" I just loaded in!" I said.

" I like it after how you offlined two bots, you're all like, " You're gonna feel so bad after this because you blamed me."" she said.

" _Hey-_" he said.

" Even though you just offlined everybody!" she said.

" _I-I would not offline anyone unless they were suspicious_." he said.

" I was not suspicious, I was minding my own business." Shockwave said.

" I was a T model!" I yelled.

" T model?" he said.

" T posed…" I said.

" You're both near each other-ish." Shockwave said. In moments time, he found Blackarichnia, and offlined her.

" **Ooooo pit yea fragger!**" he said.

" Wow! He was innocent!" I said.

" **Dance for me fragger!**" he said. I glared at him, and he kissed me.

" All is forgiven." I said.

" _Alright, another rule. you're not allowed to kill unless you're suspicious._" he said.

" Why you?! Primus damn it!" I said.

" And i'm the host's spark mate, so I can kick anyone." he said.

" I'm like a 12 vorns old making all the rules." he said.

" My parents bought me these toys." I said.

" Oooo! **Don't come near me! You look suspicious**!" he said.

" You're so crude!" she said.

" You are crude!" I said.

" Where did you find these guns?!" she said.

" _I don't know._** Why do you need a gun?! Suspicious! Suspicious! Don't let her out of your sight! I'll follow you!**" he said.

" **Oh you got a gun now don't you? What you gonna do with that, what you gonna do with that gun huh? Shoot me? **Huh, huh, huh?" he said.

" I'm not gonna shoot you because were buddies." she said.

" _You scared, you scared_? _Did I_- **why she's shooting me**!" he said.

" Ugh! You traitorous piece of trash!" she said. I saw Blitzwing, and started sniping at him.

" _What_?! **Who shot me, who shot me**?" he said.

" Hey, hey, hey." I said. He came out, and I killed him.

" It wasn't you." she said.

" What?! Shockwave! No! Shockwave, Stop it!" I said.

" **No**!" he said. I killed Shockwave.

" Why were you two shooting at each other then?!' I said.

" I was innocent." she said.

" Wait, wait. Were there two terrorists?"

" No it was just me." Shockwave said.

" Then you two were being jackafts!" I said.

" Alright, he had a snipe rifle, and just shot." she said.

" _I just did it to test you_." he said.

" Oh my primus." I said.

" _I shot next to you to test you, and you failed. You failed the test Blackarichnia._" he said.

" _You think i'm just some evil mind but_-"

" Yes!" I said.

" _You just need to be more stronger_." he said.

" Who did shot me? Ah, i'm dead." she said.

" _You weren't looking around weren't you_?" he said.

" I reckon someone shot him." she said.

" _I reckon it was a techno organic_." he said.

" Someone's name that rimes with car, shot Blackarichnia." Shockwave said. I looked shocked.

" What?! Bulls''t! that is bulls''t!" I said.

" I've been the traitor two times in a row." Shockwave said.

" I call bulls''t." I said.

" _I reckon the car rhyme thing he said_." he said.

" Slag!" he said.

" So it was Shockwave." I said.

" _Yea it definitely was_." he said.

" So why did you say it was me?!" I said.

**Sorry this was so late! I was so busy with the sequel, and finishing the story. Hope you liked it! Bye for now!**

**-Paranoiac666**


End file.
